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19/Sun/Any Pronouns!!
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teaboot:

If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say “yes”, the second will say “no.”

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? “Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?” For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: “I don’t have a card for that.”

“What the fuck,” they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: “I have laryngitis. I’ve lost speech. My throat hurts”. Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. They wonder about logistics. “How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?”

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

“I have powerful wizard magics.”

Gets them every time

deejay:

sword-grandma:

hottdoggblogg:

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Show your unwavering support for Costco’s iconic $1.50 hot dog combo. This shirt lets you wear your love for the unbeatable value proudly. Get it HERE!

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lrgcarter:

blatantescapism:

asmuchasidliketo:

rarity-femme:

do NOT get into fibre arts!!!! you try one and then all of a sudden you have 10 hobbies and wanna try 10 more

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yessss… yes

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ojibwa:

ojibwa:

every time i remember that photo of the little inuk girl with her puppy i engage in inconsolable hysterics

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this is it. this is the photo of all time

vanilla-kitty:

luckymewciano:

luckymewciano:

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One of my favorite genres of post

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boozegeoisie:

rainbow-reilly:

I’m generally of the opinion that trying to resurrect prematurely cancelled shows is like necromancy—odds are they’ll come back wrong.

Except for Galavant. Any Galavant revivial will be funnier the longer it stayed cancelled.

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Tags pass peer review, etc, because they SO perfectly capture the spirit of the show.

headspace-hotel:

taldoren:

camcron:

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Im obsessed with this piece where The Washington Post tries to interview dril with a straight face

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hey this article is really fucking good 

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darkespeon11:

odinsblog:

guccixcucci:

11/10 customer service. Perfect.

Look it’s not her fault the customer kept ordering off menu